Redemption
Redemption. Looking back at my life I’ve noticed that there has always been a time in my life that I needed to be redeemed and rescued. Now, in the present - I wish I could say that I don't need to be – but I do. When you think of redemption you think of deliverance from sin; salvation or atonement for guilt - but that's not what I mean here. I haven't done anything wrong nor do I need forgiveness - I think that I just need to be rescued or have some kind of spiritual awakening.
“Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with loving-kindness and tender mercies.” - (Psalm 103:4)
“To open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house.” - (Isaiah 42:7)
“Those of us who were brought up as Christians and have lost our faith have retained the sense of sin without the saving belief in redemption. This poisons our thought and so paralyses us in action.” - Cyril Connolly (English critic and editor)
“When a man undergoes treatment from a doctor, he does not need to know the way in which the drug works on his body in order to be cured. There is a sense in which Christianity is like that. At the heart of Christianity there is a mystery, but it is not the mystery of intellectual appreciation; it, the mystery of redemption.” - William Barclay
“The Spirit is Love expressed towards man as redeeming love, and the Spirit is truth, and the Spirit is the Holy Spirit. Redemption is inconceivable without truth and holiness. “ - Roland Allen
Up above are several quotes from the Bible itself, some of which, at this point/stage of my life and now looking back into my past – I feel that I can relate to them and understand it all better now with the wisdom that I have grown. I feel that the power of redemption can and will set me free and give me a new appreciation of life and it will help me to open my eyes and see the truth – the truth about life and the truth about myself.
I’m not the one to seek out for help or the kind of person to ask for help or ask to be rescued and saved – but sometimes – I feel like I need to be – I feel like I need to escape – escape reality, my reality and I believe the only way to do that is to accept and discover a new appreciation for life. I also feel that I won’t be able to be redeemed alone/by myself – I feel like I need someone with me by my side to take this new journey with me – someone to have my back and who understands me, respects me, understands the way my mind works and understands how I look at life and what I want out of life. I truly believe that as a human, as a person, I believe that life, any life, is not worth living alone – I believe life is about having a companion, a soul-mate – someone to take your hand and walk the road and take the journey of life with you and to share that life with that person and that’s what life is to me – life is companionship – life is… camaraderie.
The quote: “To open the blind eyes, to bring out the prisoners from the prison, and them that sit in darkness out of the prison house.” to me this is talking about being rescued – being released and taken away from and taken out of darkness and the darkness of your life. This is what I relate to the most. I have seen and been to dark places – places that I never thought I’d see and never want to see and be at again in my life because they almost destroyed me. Darkness and negativity are two powerful things and they are both hard to escape – and I promised myself that I would never go back there – promised myself that I would never let them take power over me – they will never have me – they can try – but they will never have my soul.
There’s a great line in the movie: ‘Gothika’ starring: Halle Berry, which is a movie about a doctor played by Halle who is possessed by darkness, a dark spirit that takes over her body and soul and no one believes her. She being a doctor herself – ironically is sent to an insane asylum to be treated for mental illness because no one believes her – no one believes that this dark spirit has taken over her – until the truth reveals itself at the end of the movie. This is a great movie that has a great theme about finding the truth – redemption and being set free from the darkness within.
The line/quote from the movie is acted out by actress: Penelope Cruz, and the line is: “he will never have my soul. Never.”
Miranda [Halle Berry’s character]: “I need you to tell me who did this to you? Tell me his name,Chloe. Chloe, tell me. Tell me anything. Tell me.”
Chloe: I’ll tell you one thing: He can have my body, but he will
never have my soul. Never.”
My darkness of course is/was in a different form of course – I wasn’t possessed by an evil/ dark spirit – it was more of a dark place that I let myself fall into and almost let take over me fully. Though I escaped it – it does present itself to me once and again – but I won’t let myself ever go back there and now I’m looking for a new kind of escape – a positive escape, a new journey – a journey to a place that will make and have a positive and spiritual impact on my life and on my soul.
What I’m trying to say – what I’m trying to explain is that – I need my own personal redemption in the sense of being set free – set free to a place that will change me for the better and help me grow more and learn – emotionally – physically – mentally – and spiritually.
I just feel like I need to pack my bags – pack my life and escape and take a long drive to California or something and stay out there for a while. Pack my life and start over – start a new beginning – a new chapter. I want to just wakeup and sit on a towel on a beach in San Diego, California and just lay there and look at the ocean or even just sit there and read a good book and do some writing and maybe even meet some new people. I just want to take some time to breathe – get my body at ease and my mind clear and focused and… free.
[And when I say I’ve been to dark places – I don’t mean physically – I’m not suicidal and I’m not a depressed or sad person – I just mean I’ve been surrounded by negativity and negative people that have torn me apart inside a little and I’ve just tried to understand why and how people can be so deceiving. I am full of life and sometimes it gets to me when I see people who aren’t and who dredge their negativity on other people – that makes me sad and concerned and I feel bad for them – and I let them bleed their negativity into me and it gets to me – especially when I myself have such a great passion for life.]
There is a movie that I use watch as a teenager and watching it now as an adult over and over again – I’ve recognized and now understand the true meaning of the story and what the purpose and message of the movie is. The movie is called: ‘Brokedown Palace’, Starring: Claire Danes. The plot is about two best friends who decide to take a trip to Thailand to celebrate high-school graduation. While there, they are befriended and deceived by two Australian guys who convince them to take a weekend side trip to Hong Kong, but at the airport, they are busted for smuggling drugs – drugs in-which those two guys that they trusted sneaked into their backpacks. They are convicted in a show trial and sentenced to 33 years in prison – but only one of the best-friends has to stay in prison and the other is set free and it Is up to the two best-friends [Claire Danes and her co-star] to make this complicated decision. This is definitely one of my favorite movies of all time – it’s all about life and the appreciation of life and friendship and what freedom really is.
This is probably my favorite and the best quote/line from any movie that I have ever seen and it’s from the movie that I just talked about, Brokedown Palace:
“Cause that’s all freedom is ... an illusion. Like those birds in the market you think you are setting free, when the whole time they're trained to fly right back to their cages.”
Cause that’s all freedom is… an illusion. Don’t get me wrong – I love my life – I love everything about my life. I love myself and who I am as a person, I love a lot of the people in my life and my close –friends who have stuck by me and who have had my back – and I love my family and my parents and my little sister and I love everyone who I’ve dated [have love for them/ not still in-love] – I’m not even sure if I’ve ever really been in-love either, looking back at my relationships and the people who I’ve dated at the time – I’ve said I love you to them, but I’m not sure if I was really in-love but - that’s a completely different topic and I will talk about that some other time on here – but back to what I was saying… I love my life, I do – but I just feel like I need to escape and I’m sure everyone feels like that at least one time in their life – even if it’s just for a moment . I’m a very happy person – I always look for the upside of things and I always try to stay positive – but being human – I admit I have gone to some pretty dark places – and I just never want to go back there again and I won’t. I just need to find my escape – my place of freedom - my redemption…..
Do you feel like you need to escape - even if it’s just for a moment?
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